There is a day after wedding ceremony. All other days were days of preparation for the wedding.The day after wedding ceremony is called marriage.
The seconds, minutes or hours after wedding ceremony is called JUST WEDDED. They have just concluded there initiation into the institution of marriage. Friends and family members are still around congratulating them for their successful preparation and completion of the wedding ceremony. Married men and women will bid them welcome into the marriage institution.
Everyone leaves a day after the wedding. It’s now you and your spouse. Now is the marriage proper. You have just filled out the documents and have been admitted or absorbed into the institution of marriage.
Here, you can ONLY be admitted or absorbed into the institution of marriage but never allowed or permitted to graduate (Malachi 2: 16)
I PRAY you never graduate from it cause it’s not proper; it’s dangerous too; it’s traumatic and has adverse effect on the off-springs of the union.
Why is it an institution? It’s because you never stop learning in marriage.
From the day of your marriage proper, you begin to learn about your spouse. Things you never saw during your courtship begins to manifest. You study that course – your spouse and his/her family.
And just when you thought you have mastered your spouse, a child comes.
Now you have another course to study – your spouse, child and family. How your spouse and family react to your child. How both of you should cope with the challenges of raising a child and keep your job and family intact.
Just when you thought you have gained mastery of the situation, more children arrive. Now the course of study is not just about a child, but about children and their agility, coping with your spouse in the midst of this and bringing the children up, keeping your family and your spouse’s family relationships intact, keeping your job going.
Now learning in marriage, you become a teacher. The course now is teaching and also studying their behaviours, their reactions to issues and how to secretly handle adult matters between you and your spouse.
Getting to adolescent age, the course now is to know how to control them. You seek to know how to impact societal norms into them that will benefit them in the future. You become concerned about what they would become in future.
At adulthood, you become a counsellor. You advise them on things they should do and things they shouldn’t do. Now they are in charge of their lives. Now you learn to advise politely and wisely cause you no longer control their lives.
Then they are set to marry.
Now you learn to respect their choices because you made your choice. You learn not to be too anxious about who they spend their life time with.
Now they are married. Again, it is you and your spouse, back to where you started.
Now, you learn to keep in touch with your children in their new homes. You advise on how they can manage their lives, take care of your grandchildren.
And the circle continues because you must handover the baton. They will remember you for good.
Marriage is relationship, an institution for life. Its mode of teaching is experience- either personal or reading other peoples experiences. You are not only in relationship with your spouse, but your spouse’s family members, colleagues and friends.
You don’t prepare in marriage, you prepare before marriage. How many relationship books have you read before you said “I do”.? You don’t prepare for wedding, you prepare for marriage. Weddings are in minutes or hours but marriage is for a LIFE time.
Don’t choose to ENDURE in marriage, choose to ENJOY your marriage. Both are products of preparations.